Mentoring
Guidelines & Expectations
This is a program where we attempt to come
alongside a
young man,
not financially or otherwise support him. It is essential that a
young man
celebrate his independence and dignity. To that end , we attempt to
assist
where necessary and, more importantly, give a young man a place to
call
family during those special times when family is celebrated. We hope
the
following guidelines will help steer you along that path and avoid
misconceptions:
The
Lost Boys have been without family for 20 years. They are seeking to
fill the
hole in their hearts where family lives. Spend time with them, forging
a bond
that will last. Do not attempt to rush the relationship. As with all
relationships, trust and affection come with time. Decide if it’s ok
with you
if they call you Mom or Dad. In their culture, they see those who help
them as
parents.
Educate
yourself with such books as They Poured Fire On Us From The Sky.
It will
give you great insight into the trauma and suffering these young men
endured.
You will marvel at their faith and resilience.. Surf the internet to
read as
much as you can about the Dinka and Nuer cultures and for stories about
the
Lost Boys.
Be
a positive role model for a young man. Do not offer him alcohol or
cigarettes
and, in fact, discuss with him the negatives of using either. Encourage
waiting
for marriage to engage in sexual activity. Plan times around your
schedule to
have meals with him. Most of these boys are very busy so let them lead
you in
how much time you will spend together .Do not feel obligated to spend
money on them...
However, a nice surprise or gift of something they need once in awhile
is
always welcome.
Dignity
is extremely important. If needed, you can offer guidance
in major decisions like
buying a car ,renting an apartment or
changing jobs. These boys have survived against all odds without us so
tread
carefully to assist rather than do for him. Most do not know how to buy
a car
or make other financial decisions so your input and guidance would be
most
welcome in order to make a wise and informed decision.
Stress
the importance of completion of GED and education.
If needed, connect them with tutors and
career planners. Identify their goals,
hopes and dreams and help them to stay focused.
You
will receive more than you are giving!!